The Pre-Race Checklist That Makes You a Better Swim Parent

I am David Karasek, an Olympic finalist and Swiss record holder in the 200m IM, and I coach the mental side of racing for hundreds of competitive swimmers. A few months ago I posted a simple pre-race checklist inside our free Swimpros community on Skool. It was meant to be a quick swipe file. Instead it turned into the most commented post in the group's history.. 500+ parents, dozens of real stories, and one crowd-sourced breathing technique that I now teach everywhere. Here is the full checklist, rebuilt with everything that thread taught me.

Why less is more before a race

Your swimmer's nerves are not a problem for you to solve in the last ten minutes. They are the swimmer's opportunity to build their own character. It sucks to watch, but if you swoop in with instructions, reassurance, or a pep talk, you quietly rob them of the chance to become a more resilient racer.

There is real research behind this, not just my opinion. A 2026 study published in Frontiers in Psychology followed 492 adolescent tennis players and found that perceived parental expectations significantly predicted higher pre-competitive anxiety (β = 0.153, p = 0.001). The mechanism mattered even more than the headline number: expectations raised anxiety specifically by undermining the athlete's felt competence.. their sense that they, not you, are the one in control of what happens next. The swimmers whose parents backed off and let them own the moment reported feeling more capable, not less prepared.

That single finding explains almost everything on the rest of this list. Every mistake below is really the same mistake wearing a different outfit: taking the controls out of your kid's hands right when they need to feel like they're holding them.

What NOT to say before your swimmer races

None of these come from bad parents. They come from loving ones who can't stand watching their kid be nervous. That is exactly why they're worth naming.

1. Last-minute technical reminders. "Remember your streamline off the wall" feels helpful. To a swimmer who has heard it 200 times in practice, it lands as "I don't trust you to remember this yourself," thirty seconds before they need to feel trusted most.

2. Anything about the outcome. Times, placings, who they're racing, what a good result would mean. One mom in our community, Melissa, told us her daughter gets "very irritated and pissed off" at exactly this kind of body-language pressure before a swim.. and once she backed off, it changed things for both her daughters, including one in a completely different sport.

3. Over-coaching disguised as encouragement. Another parent, Susanne, described herself perfectly in our thread: "an advisor, a fixer and a talker especially in the car.. both ways." She's not alone. Most swim parents are trying to fix a feeling with information. It doesn't work. It just moves the pressure from the coach's shoulders onto yours, and then onto your kid's.

4. "Just have fun!" said in a tense voice. The words are right. The delivery gives it away. Kids read your nervous system before they read your sentence.

What TO say instead (the parents in our community actually use these)

Short, warm, and over before it becomes a speech. Here is what real Swimpros parents told us they say, in their own words:

Smile. Fist bump. Walk away. - Sonia, Swimpros community, on the exact routine she practices before every race

My last words before a race are always have fun and be kind to yourself. - Nicole, Swimpros community

The best approach is to be there for support but as invisibly as possible and as visibly as necessary. - Kerstin, Swimpros community

Notice what all three have in common: none of them are about the race. They're about connection. That's the whole trick. The same rule applies after a hard swim, by the way.. connect before you correct.

The breathing reset that actually calms nerves

If your swimmer needs more than a fist bump, give them something physical to do, not more words to process. When a parent named Sarah asked our community for a breathing technique for a very nervous swimmer before regionals, another mom, Nadine, posted this exact protocol:

This is not a trick. It's basic physiology: your heart rate naturally speeds up on the inhale and slows down on the exhale, so stretching the exhale drags your average heart rate down with it. Sports psychologists call the technique HRV biofeedback, and per researchers at the University of South Wales who use it with elite athletes, pacing breathing at around six breaths per minute increases heart rate variability, lowers average heart rate, and gives an athlete a go-to move for the exact moment pressure spikes. They specifically note using it during the taper period in elite swimming.. the same emotionally loaded final stretch before a big meet that every one of you is living through in miniature before every race.

Frequently asked questions

You can also read the original thread and download the printable checklist here.